Different Ways To Calm Natsu
by lady lutka
Summary: Lucy composes a list of all her different ways to calm Natsu under Mira's truly adamant request. —natsu&lucy /notacrack!fic/ /sister!fic/


partner-fic to _**Different Ways To Bite Lucy**_ since I got so much feedback.

for future reference;

Lucy  
 _Cana  
_ **Levy (see what i did there all you DWTBL peeps;)  
 _Mirajane_**

read away, my skers!

* * *

Lucy's Assorted Methods Used to Calm Her Irrationally Overprotective Boyfriend

(read: Natsu Dragneel)

 _Nah it should be somethin' like this:_

 _Big Boobs' Guide to Sexually Pleasing Natsu Dragneel 1000 Different Ways_

CANA! ERASE THAT RIGHT NOW!

 _Oh come on Lu~cyy ;)_

Go home!

 **Lu-chan, what's this?**

Levy too!? Don't any of you have your own houses?!

 _ **This might be my fault. Sorry, Lucy… ^.^**_

MIRA?! WHY ARE YOU ALL HERE?!

 _Heyyy now that we're all here, how 'bout some shots?_

 **Um, Cana… it's 8 AM**

 _So?_

 **Never mind** ('-.-)

 _ **Lucy, ignore those two :) You have a list to write, ne?**_

I wish you would all go home…

Calming method #1: Cuddles!  
Hugs fix everything! Despite the fact Natsu is a ball of energy, when he crashes it hits him hard. So instead of having him mope around my apartment and complaining about everything, I put an action movie on the vision lacrima and snuggle up into him. Sometimes touch speaks louder than words :3

 _It's never JUST movies and cuddles ;)_

 **That's cute, Lu-chan ^.^**

 _ **Ahh, young love :')**_

Um… thanks? I think?

Calming method #2: Play with my hair, Lucy!  
When Natsu is motion sick or when he feels a little lonely, he always demands that I play with his hair. I don't mind though! His hair is really soft and it's fun to watch his face when I massage his scalp.

 **I'm jealous…**

How come?

 **Gajeel is surprisingly touchy about his hair. Apparently he spends ages making it look normal.**

 _This is boooring! When's the dirty stuff coming?_

 _ **Hush now, Cana.**_

I DON'T LIKE THIS ANYMORE!

Calming method #3: Behind hug arm lock!  
I'm fairly sure you've all seen me do this one on Natsu… Basically, I hug him from behind and sneak my arms under his biceps so he can't move. He's scared of hurting me so he doesn't try to get out of the hold. Winners all around!

 _It's the boobies that keep him from moving~ I know for a fact that I wouldn't mind if you pushed up against me from behind ;)_

CANA!

 **Again with the boobs…**

 _ **I'd watch it if I were you, Cana. Natsu might think that you're trying to steal his girl ^.^**_

 _Damn right I am! You can call me Miss Steal yo Girl!_

MOVING ON.

Calming method #4: Hand on stomach!  
So I'm sure you've all noticed how crazily overprotective Natsu is around me in public. So instead of being kicked out of every store, whenever I notice him starting to get antsy I put his arm over me and rest my hand on his stomach above that scar he got from Eclipse. I guess it reminds him of how he got it and that no matter the danger, I would always come back for him wherever I am.

 _You're just tryin' to cop a feel ;) I see through you Lucy!_

OF COURSE NOT!

 **Um, guys? I think Mira died…**

Wha…?

 _Give her some tequila and she'll be fine._

You are NO help AT ALL!

Calming method #5: Hand on thigh!  
This is really similar to #4, but instead of placing my hand on his stomach I rest it on one of his thighs. Usually I only use this when we're both in a meeting with the Master or when getting briefed for missions. Depending on the subject and what is being said, nine times out of ten Natsu will react badly. So to save a brawl from breaking out and Natsu hurting someone, I hold him to the seat by resting my hand on his thigh. Sometimes I might have to lightly trace my fingers in little circles to give him something else to focus on.

 **Wow, Lucy. You're making Natsu sound like a big baby…**

No! He's just a really physical guy, so the only way to ground him is to give him a touch to focus on…

 _I think he's too busy trying to not get it up to actually pay attention to what's happening ;)_

It's NOT LIKE THAT!

 **I think Mira really is dead… she's twitching. Is that normal?**

We'll call Wendy later…

 _Shots shots shots! Everything is fixed with SHOTS~!_

GO HOME, CANA!

Calming method #6: Neck kisses!

 _Gettin' a little kinky are we? ;)_

I refuse to answer you.

 _Aww don't be like that Lu~shii. I'll force it out of you…_

CANA THAT TICKLES! STOP!

 **Cana, you should probably stop. I think Natsu is rough enough with Lucy.**

LEVY-CHAN!

 _Oho, you got a point there squirt._

:(

Anyway, as I was TRYING to say before I was so RUDELY interrupted (that means YOU, Cana!), neck kisses! When Natsu gets that deadly look in his eyes and his fists start shaking, I know I have to do something before he destroys half of Fiore and puts us in debt for the next twenty years. The only thing that gets his attention when he's in that state is surprisingly, neck kisses. He has a really sensitive spot right on his jaw that immediately snaps his attention to me rather than whatever is pissing him off. Sometimes, kissing him there leads to other stuff depending on how eager he is to forget about what happened before I distracted him…

 _Other things? ;)_

 **You mean like, sex?**

SO BLUNT!

 _Is he big, Lucy? ;)_

His ego? Yes.

 _Well, is he rough? I bet he's a biter!_

… No comment.

 _That's a yes, then! ;)_

 **Well, if all Dragon Slayers are the same then he is definitely a biter.**

How can you be so blunt, Levy-chan?!

 **Oh, calm down Lu-chan. It's not like we're screaming about it in the middle of the guild.**

But Mira will…

 _So, Levy~_

 **Yes…?** - **_** -

 _How big is Gajeel? ;)_

 **What do you think?**

 _OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH! PIPSQEAUK, I SURE TAUGHT YOU GOOD!_

GAHH! BOTH OF YOU, STOP!

 **So Cana, how 'bout you and Bacchus?**

 _Ain't nothing to tell._

 **Reeeeaaalllyyyy?**

 _Yep._

OKAY ALL OF YOU GET OUT OF MY APARTMENT. NATSU WILL BE HERE IN FIVE MINUTES AND I WANT YOU ALL GONE BY THEN.

 **I thought we were going on a job, Lu-chan…**

That was today?! I'm so sorry, Levy-chan!

 _Alright, let's not get in the way of Lucy's dick time. But, if you want a third, you know where to find me ;)_

JUST GET OUT.

 ** _._**

 ** _._**

 ** _._**

 ** _fin_**


End file.
